Easter is on April 8th again this year. It was on April 8th 5 years ago. 5 years ago to the day when I saw Willie alive for the last time.

I didn't want to do Easter this year. I didn't want to get out of bed. I didn't want to relive a week where the holidays, dates, and days of the week miraculously all line up again, leading up to the day my brother died. Then I heard at church they were going to be doing baptisms during the Easter service this year and I thought that this would be the perfect time to do it. To give my day, my April 8th, an additional meaning, a bigger meaning. I had never been baptized outside of my Catholic infant baptism and there are lots of reasons/excuses why I never had. I have believed in God and loved Jesus for as long as I can remember, but sometimes I wish I had had this dramatic conversion, where there was a definite line between my former self and my new self, but that just isn't how my story has gone, so it has taken me until I was 33 to finally step out and be consciously baptized the way Jesus was.
I once felt like God wanted me to be baptized when I was in college. And thanks to my need to be perfect for people, I just chickened out and never told anybody that I wanted to be baptized. (for goodness sake, what would people think of me??? how many years had I been a Christian??? and I hadn't been baptized??? what was wrong with me????). But if I had, all I'd of had to do was be up in front of our church and do it, which in itself for me created panic. God has a funny sense of humor. 13 years later, God asks me again to be baptized. This time on a very sad and painful day for me. And I still was going to have to be up in front of the church, which still makes me feel panicky, but I was also going to have to do a video testimony that would be played in front of the whole church on the big screen, right before I was baptized. Talk about anxiety and panic. A little piece of advice : Do things the first time God asks because it seems the 2nd time around, he's going to make you wish you'd listened the first time.....ahem...Jonah anyone????? :)
I totally hesitated even putting this stuff up on my blog. I rarely talk about personal things, feelings and all that. But not one person from my family could be here with us today, so I thought I'd put this on here for them and because this blog also marks important (and not important) days in our family's lives, and I'd have to say this is a pretty important one. Did I mention Royal got baptized too? Unfortunately he doesn't ever post on my blog, so you don't get any of the inside stuff from him, so you'll just have to watch his video.
This is my video playing on the big screen. Willow yelled, "MOM! You're on TV!"
And my baptism.
And here's my video testimony. They actually played a shorter version during the service, but my friend Liz, who does the video editing, gave me a longer version to post on my blog for my family.
Rachel Lovingfoss - Full Length Easter Baptism Testimony from
Eastside Community on
Vimeo.
And Royal's video playing on the big screen.
Royal's baptism.
And Royal's video testimony.
Royal Lovingfoss - Easter Baptism Testimony from
Eastside Community on
Vimeo.