Easter, Easter, Easter.....It's so loaded with memories, good and sad. I woke up in the morning feeling pretty good, but as the day went on, I just felt sadder and sadder. Sad that I spend Easter out here in the middle of nowhere, doing Easter egg hunts for my kids and it's just the two of them. I did Easter egg hunts with ALL of my cousins, and there were a lot of us, and so much fun, and so many eggs that my dad would forget where he hid them all. Holidays are so hard when you are so far away from the rest of your family. But we did get invited to be a part of some fun things. We spent the day before Easter at a friend's family's house where they have a tradition of deep frying turkeys and coloring Easter eggs and that was a lot of fun. And we did get invited back out there for Easter day too, but we decided not to go. I was already in a funk and probably would of spent the entire time crying in a chair while my kids did Easter egg hunts with other people's cousins and aunts and uncles and grandmas and grandpas. Easter is just a big reminder of the family I've lost. Even if I was in Washington and around my family, it still wouldn't be the same. Who knows if we'd even be together, maybe I'd still be doing Easter dinner with just the 4 of us, and I'd still be sad that I had the potential to be surrounded by my family, yet I wasn't. Willie died and I feel like my family exploded, and Easter is just a very vivid reminder of when it all started...
We went to church in the morning and Jayden got entered into a drawing down in his environment and he ended up winning a
rip-stick! Which I was actually quite pumped about because I've always wanted to learn how to ride one! :) Royal on the other hand kept trying to give it away because all he could envision were the injuries that were going to happen. I think Royal's just a little timid after he tried riding Jayden's razor scooter and bit it hard! So, when we got home from church, we spent a lot of time helping him learn how to ride the thing.
And we did an Easter egg hunt. Jayden shook every egg looking for money.
It was so nice out, we spent most of the day outside and even had a Silly String fight.
And by the end of the day, Jayden could do this.
He's still working on how to get momentum while on it, but he can balance on it quite well!
I spent a lot of the day sitting or laying out in the warm sun and remembering how much fun we had back on Easter 2007 and how much I miss my family, but also trying to watch and participate and spend time with and enjoy my family that I have right in front of me.
3 comments:
I understand!! Things have changed so much!! I spent Easter alone working in by back yard! I know this is by choice many times but still is sad. Sometimes it is just to hard to even acknowledge that it is a holiday! I see you had a beautiful sunny day with your family. I am just thankful that someday we will all be together again never to be parted. Hugs and love to you all. The Great Marshmellow.
It was a nice weekend.
Royal
Oh how I miss you...I am sad for all we have lost...am sorry for all that I've done to hurt you and our family....nothing could ever be the same....and I am glad you have your own memories of good and happy times when we were all together and the world wasn't so hard...but am so glad you are making wonderful and different kind of memories for your own kids....they will compare everything they do later in their life to the wonderful celebrations you made for them. You are such a good mom...you work so hard for your family and they just won't get it until they do the same for their own...hugs to all of you.
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