I feel like I have been preparing Jayden for school for years now (well, turns out that's what you do as a mom, prepare for school, prepare for life...who da thunk???). He has always been clingy and he's never liked being dropped of somewhere unfamiliar, and he definitely does not like doing things that are not his idea. It took him until he was 3 before he stopped screaming every time we took him to the church nursery. I purposefully signed him up for swimming lessons at a place that I knew wouldn't be deterred by Jayden throwing a fit on the side of the pool, they would dunk him in the pool and make him swim even if he was screaming. I have been dreading his first day of school for almost the last 4 years, just sure I was going to have to leave an upset, screaming child. When he does that, I feel bad for Jayden, I feel bad for the person I am leaving him with, I feel bad for all the other kids that are around him, I feel like I have failed him in some way, like I haven't prepared him for this, like he doesn't have the confidence in himself to make friends and play and have fun without me, I feel like he doesn't trust that I will always come back for him, that he doubts how much I love him.
So, since last March, when we officially got Jayden signed up for Pre-K, I've been trying to help him get ready. Anytime we'd drove by his school I'd say, 'Hey! Look! That's where you get to go to school next year! Look at all those toys!' And he'd reply, 'I don't want to go. That doesn't look fun at all'. To which I wouldn't say anything because he has a whole lot of Royal in him and he just likes to argue. But I knew he was processing things, every once in awhile he would pipe up in the backseat and out of the blue say, 'Hey Mom, you're really gonna miss me'. And I'd say, 'Miss you? Where are you going?' And he'd say, 'You know, next year, when I'm at school.'
Before we left for our trip to Washington, Jayden and I were looking at a calendar and we mapped out how many weeks until we got to go to Washington, then how many weeks we got to stay there, and then when we got back how many weeks until he started school. So Jayden has known since we've gotten back that he was going to start school really soon and he would vacillate between wanting to go and not wanting to go. On Monday, he was in a I-don't-want-to-go-to-school mood, but we had an orientation that we were going to, so we could meet his teacher. Jayden perked up a bit when we saw some other people we knew, none that were going to be in his class, but I think it helped him not feel so alone. We went into the school and found his locker with his name on it that he would get to store his coat and backpack in. Then on Tuesday, we went back to his school to check out his classroom and fill out some paperwork. I think this helped a ton, because he found the bin of dinosaurs (which he proceeded to line all up on the counter) and he found other toys that he wanted to play with. All this week at Strollers in Motion (formally StrollerFit), he has been asking where his friends are, and I've had to explain that they are in school, just like him.
So, this morning he woke up knowing that he was going to go to school today, and thank the Lord!, he was in a I-think-I'll-like-school-you're-gonna-miss-me mood. We went and worked out this morning and played in a park for a little while, then came home and made lunch. To which Jayden said, "Thanks for lunch, Mom! I was running out of energy, and I needed more so I could play with those jets at school!' We then read some books on the couch and waited to leave. I got shoes on the kiddos and said I wanted to take their pictures before we left. To which Jayden had a moment of panic and started in on a fit of screaming and yelled,
"NOOOOOOO!!!!! I'm not going!!!" (I took a picture of it, because I was getting first day of school pictures whether they were good or bad!)
So, Willow and I went out on the front porch and we found a present that Scooter had left us last night. A headless bird. I yelled in the house at Jayden, 'Hey, come look what Scooter left us!' He perked right up. I said, 'I'll let you come look at this dead bird if you let me take your picture'. Jayden replies, "OK Mom!", and comes trotting outside. Thank you, Scooter!!!
We got in the car and headed off to pick Royal up and take Jayden to his class. While Jayden and I were standing by the car in the parking lot, waiting for Royal to get Willow out of her seat, I thought I'd test his mood and I said to him, 'Hey buddy, I don't know what I'm going to do without you, maybe you should just stay with me' To which he said, 'Oh Mom, I can't. I have to go. I have to leave you today'. Then he points at a mother walking back to her car holding the hand of a little boy with a backpack on and he says, 'See Mom? See? You'll get to come back and get me. Then I'll be able to go home with you.' And we walked into the school, hung his backpack up in his locker, and went into his classroom, and he said, 'Bye Mom. Bye Dad. Bye Willow', and turned around to go play with something.
Such a brave kid. I can't believe all the worry I've had about this day, he did great! Here's to hoping he doesn't freak out on me a couple weeks down the road or something! :)
